well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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