You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
