"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize