I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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