I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Come see our sink grown plant.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
