I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize