Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
they're like a gay fantastic four
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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