every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
