No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
