Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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