I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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