someone get that fucking seahorse.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
