just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
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