May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
