So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
