honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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