So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I wish there were birth control emojis
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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