i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
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