I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize