you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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