He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
