I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize