Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
