how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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