wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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