they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
