I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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