I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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