It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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