I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
