mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
