I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
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Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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