none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
