I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
