Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
