not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
