the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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