we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
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