batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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