I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I think my moral compass just broke
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
