Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
