As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
