just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
