that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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