Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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