That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
