people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
