Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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