Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
we're making bets on your personal life
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
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