Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Farmville is her only friend.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
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