so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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