Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
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