yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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