I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
