Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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