I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
