batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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