I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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