I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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